Total Pageviews

Monday, 28 February 2011

Drawing a Line & Monumental **** ups!!!

'Draw a line' seems to have become a recent catchphrase, relating to a line/division in your mind, where you leave the past behind and move forward.

Easier said than done!!

It's a great philosophy, the ability to just forget everything that's happened to you and charge forward positively, however isn't it true that everything we have become today is based entirely on EVERYTHING that's happened, every experience, every success, every failure, every decision, in fact almost everything from the moment we came into this world.
Even when you were too young to remember you were being influenced and forged into what you've become.
Every one of the millions of conscious, subconscious and subliminal messages your brain has acknowledged, have created the unique being you are today.
Of course, we're not all thrilled with what we are BUT we do have the amazing ability to change, adapt, modify and become what we desire.

Nevertheless, I'm still stuck on 'draw a line', no matter how hard I try, I can't shift, move, alter or forget all my past (good things, bad things, quite unbelievable things and not forgetting the entirely BIZARRE*), after all (good or bad), it's what has made what I am today.
I'm not sure whether it's drawing a line to forget the past or building a HUGE wall, between the things we want and the possible happenings in the past that may hold us back.
On a real positive note, the things that have happened to you have all had a knock on effect in your future, in other words everything has led to other things . If you recall a bad happening, it may well have lead to huge changes, changes that were necessary to get you where you are today.

So let's draw a line, build a wall, block the negatives.......HOW???

A few years ago I made a MASSIVE error of judgement, John Stephen* (esteemed & successful entrepreneur and Kleeneze Leader), one of my many mentors, would have called it 'a F**k-up of monumental proportions', the kind of error that totally screws up everything and one from which there is no going back, there was no one to blame, it was all down to me.
There was no easy way to move on from this, let alone draw a line. However, there was no choice the consequences were all consuming, on a daily basis it had to be pushed to the back of my mind, because it was capable of hindering everything and bringing life to a total, sorry standstill.
So how did I survive? How did I move on?
I spent EVERY waking moment surrounded by positive people, either in their company or communicating with them, in fact you could say I inadvertently used them, without any of them even realising the trauma I was in.
Nevertheless, considering the depth of my monumental F**k-up, it worked, it actually switched my mind to positive thoughts, so strong that they slowly began to counteract the mess I'd created.
In no means did these actions deal with the mess, however it put me in the right frame of mind TO deal with it, it made me stronger so I could cope better.
In fact the real drawing of the line happened at a later date.
Sat (naturally, under the influence of alcohol), with a group of trusted friends, I confessed the whole sorry saga, in intricate, painful detail, including associated emotions, much (I might add), to the shock of the people listening, not shock at the story but shock at my ability to keep it such a secret for so long.

So, back to 'DRAWING A LINE' - I don't think you truly can, not under EVERYTHING, however you can under the things you perceive to be holding you back. Like the monumental f**k-up I made, it was clearly destined to hold me back (and consume me, had I let it), I drew my line through POSITIVE acquaintances and a total confession (incidentally, the confession would not have been possible had I not done the former).

NOW it's YOUR turn - what's holding you back?

Monumental F**k-ups of your own (maybe,resulting in regret & guilt), other happenings in your past, certain PEOPLE, past failures, INSECURITIES* or maybe just your partner!!!
Whatever it is, may not even immediately occur to you, think about it carefully and then write down all the reasons, situations & people that might be holding you back, DO NOT be afraid to write anything you want, no matter how disturbing or painful it may seem.
Now take a long hard look at your list, are these things REALLY holding back your steps forward, what emotions go through your mind as you live each situation through your mind ? The ones that really sink your heart are your personal lepers - the ones that need to be destroyed, if you want peace of mind and a clear route forward.
By now, you will have established what bothers you, winds you up and ultimately holds you back in some way.
Even accepting these things is the start of drawing your line and moving on.
The power happens when you balance the things holding you back with the things you really want, the very things you DESIRE* - this second list (your DREAMS & DESIRES list), is the remedy to the first. It's that which will demolish your unwanted things in the past and help you build a wall (let alone draw a line!!).
Take my monumental f**k-up as an example, try my remedy, find your positive people, confess to someone close to you and feel the weight of your own f**k-ups etc lift from your chest.

This could be the start of your wall, your line, your division, your parting with those things, happenings, emotions & people holding your PROGRESS back.


PS. Anywhere there is an asterisk (*), is a story for another day (except where the asterisk is hiding an expletive!!)


  1. What a brave post!

    No doubt you will get flooded with questions about your err, but if you wanted us to know you would have said - or perhaps kept for another day.

    You have shown a side that perhaps others haven't seen, and admitted you can make mistakes. Some will have seen you as almost robot like - always perfect, positive and controlled - especially up on stage!

    You have though in this post observed the golden rule of posting - remembering what is in it for the reader.

    You have given us a strong 'Call to Action' and shown how we can make a worthy change. You let us know it would not be easy, but the pain would be worth it in the end.

    If this is how your Blog is going to go on from here this will become a great resource for anyone interested in personal development.

    Thanks again, and keep up the great postings!


  2. wow! brilliant blog.
    left me slightly speechless - which is quite unsual!
    but in a good way.

  3. the comment was that evading me earlier....I am assuming you are refering to the christmas elf video as your error of judgement??!!

  4. Im f*****ed off and i went to specsavers.hooray mk.A line drawn in sand takes a puff off wind to blow it away. One thing I have learned is goals written in sand can be re written. and written again and again. concrete goals are a little harder to re write. however the right mix of sand and cement will hide concreated goals.
    The way is onwards and forward.
    great post.