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Sunday, 23 October 2011

The pot called the kettle 'BLACK'

'I don't care what you think, it'll destroy lives, wreck your future, destroy your prospects. Hurt all the people that you love and undoubtedly they'll never look at you in the same way again. You have everything going for you, now you're willing to give it all up through a single act of callous selfishness and stupidity. Why on earth would you want to do that to the people that care so much for you?'

I guess this wasn't the answer my friend was expecting. His answer in return to me, was the greatest indication that my response had left him flabbergasted.

'I thought you'd be pleased that I was doing something different, that I was not being boring for a change, that I was, as you always say, living my life, exploring a little, getting some gratification. I don't understand you, this is your way of life and suddenly I attempt the same and you go mad at me. I'm really shocked you're such a hypocrite. It's almost as if you're not happy for me. Its really spiced my life up and injected some excitement into me and you just don't like it'

I think the expression coming to your mind is 'pot calling the kettle black'

Here's my response to his obvious disappointment.

'The way I live my life suits me and it's never going to change, on the other hand it's not appropriate for you. I don't want to see you facing the consequences that I don't give a damn about facing. Maybe, I'm the selfish one, maybe I don't care enough about people, that I constantly do the very things that could break their hearts, ravage their existence and crush their souls. You, well that's different, you cannot be me, I cannot envisage the very same repercussions in your life'

The bottom-line is, I'm certain we all break the rules, push the boundaries and naturally do some things that are grossly, socially unacceptable.

When my friend confessed his actions and intentions, I was horrified and instantly without hesitation thought of the dreadful ramifications he was heading for. Why on earth does he want to jeopardise his stable, perfectly formed life? Have I influenced him that badly, that he's willing to give up everything? Surely, he can see I'm totally different and that it's almost acceptable for me to pursue such a crooked and breakneck path.
Why would he want a slice of uncertainty, anxiety and dilemma that encapsulates my world? How on earth would he deal with the calamitous & mortifying predicaments he could find himself in?

Its utterly amazing how much we can influence, brainwash, manipulate the worlds of other people.
Everything we say and do has an input or result somewhere. Every single action has a direct chain-reaction, an upshot or at least the ability to change something, somewhere.

I had no idea that my casual and grossly embellished commentary about my life, those shenanigans, those little moments of naughty monkey-business could possibly determine the actions of another. its not as if I'm totally vociferous about what I do (partly because I just don't do much). Nevertheless, my opinions, wisecracks, exaggerations, maybe just my demeanor was enough to almost change the course of someone elses life and certainly NOT for the better. It had the propensity to annihilate his and the lives of others.

What an awesome tool we have, the power of influence and using positive strokes to improve & better people's lives. No matter who you are, no matter what your experiences are, unquestionably you have under estimated the power you have. Not just over friends but your family, your work colleagues, your business associates.
Think carefully, what are you saying and most importantly who are you saying it to.

So, back to my friend and the negative bias that was heading his way. Had I set him on a course of self-destruction? Would i be responsible for the ridiculous, deplorable & pitiful quandary ahead of him.

Actually, on this occasion NO, after much coaxing, coaching and swearing he absolutely promised to never drive at speeds of 100mph again, irrespective of the ensuing thrill :)
Me, even I've decided to review my dispensable behaviour, or at least not to make it sound so alluring.

Be careful about what you say (and consequently, what you do!!)
You never know who you're influencing!!!