'OMG, that's f***ing outrageous, she's an absolute dog, were you drunk, was it a bet you lost, she's nasty & skanky' was the insensitive, red-neck, unnecessary reply that spouted from my vulgar mouth. After the confession from one of my (very few, and getting fewer by the minute), best friends, that he had slept with 'Skanky Sarah' (please note- I'm not really sure what 'Skanky' means either, it's some sort of derogatory colloquialism for undesirable - sounds appropriate though!!)
I'm not sure what was more of a shock, his face (at my reply), or the fact that he had slept with SS.
At this point, my friend was regretting telling me his sordid secret, I'm assuming he had a vain hope that I might understand that these things sometimes happen and that he just needed to get the ordeal of SS off his (clearly easily tempted), chest.
That particular evening resulted in one hilarious (and condescending), comment after another. Which (once the shock was over), was fine among friends discussing a secret.
The point of this story wasn't the confession my friend made, neither was it Skanky Sarah. I'm certain many of us are shocked by revelations on many occasions. No, no the point was what I did next, which was even worse than sleeping with SS!!! (not that I would know of the SS experience, having never been there - Honest!!)
Here goes, a few months later, I was with a different friend, at which point I committed a cardinal sin, I used the phrase, which condemns us to a hell of no integrity & mistrust........'I'm going to tell you a secret BUT you must not tell anyone else' - for the purpose of titillation, humour and scandal I (after using that hellish phrase), told someone about my other friend sleeping with SS (AND embellished the story with some extra facts/LIES about poor old Skanky, to make the story even more salacious and controversial). At the time, in my tiny mind I'd covered myself by saying 'you must not tell anyone else', however what I'd really done, was let my friend down by being a d**k-head who couldn't hold onto a secret and was prepared to get a few laughs at the expense of another. Wrong, wrong, wrong!!!!
THINK ABOUT IT - How many times have you done that?? How many times have you let someone down that had trusted you with a secret? By using the phrase (or similar) 'It's a secret but I trust you not to tell anyone else'
To make matters worse (and some may say 'serves you right'), it's also happened to me, I've confessed things that have spread like wildfire - and really hurt when I've found out that other people use that dreaded phrase 'I'm going to tell you a secret, but you mustn't tell anyone else'
People NEED people to trust in, people NEED people to confess to - Why? because it makes them feel better, worthwhile and in some cases lifts a burden that they've been carrying - one which would come crashing down like a tonne of bricks, if they discovered you'd used that dreaded phrase.
Back to the saga of Skanky Sarah. The friend who I'd told someone elses secret to had less integrity than me and continued to tell others, using the same phrase 'I'll tell you but don't tell anyone else', until finally (you guessed it), it got back to my friend. Suffice to say, we're no longer friends, Skanky Sarah is still Skanky (and took her own revenge - which is a good story for another day!!), and I learnt a valuable lesson - If someone trusts you enough to tell you a secret, then you MUST (and remember this phrase), 'TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE'.
TODAY, I carry the secrets of many, everything from mad, sordid to illegal, but I will 'TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE!!'
On a different point, do you carry any burdens that you've never confessed? Do you even have someone in your life trusted enough with your secrets. Why? Because there are times when you just NEED to tell someone, it brings about an almighty lifting sensation and suddenly your problems & challenges are halved.
Try it, it'll really help you feel better!!
Of course the tricky bit is trusting someone enough. If you don't have any such people in your life, then why not start with yourself, become the person that 'takes it to the grave', don't EVER fall foul of the phrase 'I'll tell you, but you mustn't tell anyone else'.
Becoming a trusted person is an uplifting experience within itself, knowing that under no circumstances will you tell anyone else, secrets that someone has trusted you with.
I do hope this story has made at least one person question their trustworthiness and possibly change for the better - Remember, PEOPLE NEED PEOPLE THAT CAN BE TRUSTED!!